Just when you least expect it...

Last Sunday was Fast Sunday. One of the sisters got up to bear her testimony.

She described how in the last few months she started feeling less desire to attend church; how there were always things that seemed more important and urgent, and how she was being pulled away. Then she went on to describe how she became aware of this issue and through prayer recognized that it had to do with her son's upcoming baptism. Her 8 year old son who was to be baptised that same Fast Sunday after services. She concluded by bearing her testimony of how, once she recognised the adversary's hand in her life, she was able to lean on the Lord's support and push forward, moving the bad influence aside, and allowing her son to get to his baptism with everything as it should be.

Later that day, in the Priesthood lesson, we discussed President Kimball's talk "Home: The place to save society" [Ensign, January 1975 issue]. In this very strong and encompassing talk, one of the topics Pres. Kimball discusses is the importance of Family Home Evenings and Home Teachings. The lesson teacher asked for our experiences regarding family home evenings. I related my gratitude for FHEs. In the past we did not have them at our home, but of late we make sure to have them regularly. I mentioned that I am grateful, not only because this is an opportunity to discuss Gospel truths, but also since, in my busy schedule, this forces me to come home early and allows me to spend precious time with my family.

The next day was Monday, and I had a very busy day at the office. I was planning to teach FHE on a topic that my sons had asked about. I knew that the next day (Tuesday) was going to be even busier, and that as soon as the kids go to bed I have a lot of preparing to do, so my mind was wondering.

I should have recognized the signs when I got home, but I didn't.

I should have noticed that my wife was not herself, and offered some comfort, but I didn't notice.

Just as we were starting to gather for the lesson, my son suggested to his mom that he wanted to teach about what he had learned in Sunday school the past day, and she agreed. I felt that my lesson was important and I had planned for it, but we could resolve this during the lesson, so I let it go. When we started the lesson, we had some difficulties getting through the hymn (I should have recognized what was coming, but I didn't). Then I asked my daughter to say the opening prayer, and she refused. She preferred to choose the activity at the end of the FHE. I tried to reason with her and ask her again, which led to an argument. At this point my wife felt this was not to her liking - my trying to force the 6 year old to say a prayer when she clearly does not want to. She ended up leaving the room. I could have handled that differently, but I didn't, so the lesson fell apart. With angry hearts and crying faces we ended up sending the kids off to bed, unfulfilled and lacking in spiritual blessings.

As I was pondering this throughout that night, while attending to my work, the spirit finally got through to me: there he was again, interfering with good people's lives - the enemy of all righteousness, the father of contention.

That night I said a long prayer of repentance, asking to soften my family's heart that they may be able to forgive me as well. The next morning, before everybody left the house, I took the time to apologize to all for my behaviour, and promise to try harder next time.

I recognize now that there is no such thing as "Nah, that will not happen to me...", because it happens to all of us - just when we least expect it. He is so clever - it is truly scary. It's funny that we think of the excuse "the devil made me do it" as a cliche, when in all honesty - he does, and it's tough.

Another valuable lesson I learned from this experience is a strengthening of the correct way to exercise my priesthood:

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile" [D&C 121:41]

You want your kids to do the right thing, but you can't force them to do it. You need to convince them that the right thing is the right choice for them, by taking the time to listen to their concerns and addressing them one by one until all are cleared away and the remaining path leads to the right choice.

BTW, my wife is talking to me again...

TOTD: We are doing our best to behave as adults, when in truth we are only older children: "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." [Mosiah 3:19]

Love

We have friends that have a son who has some form of mental disability. He is at an age where puberty is starting to rear its head, but his mental age is still around 6 years old. Unfortunately, he is not happy at school and feels trapped. This leads to frustration and anger which in turn leads to violence. He is not a bad kid, just troubled. Now they are at a point where his school will not accept him back and they need to send him to a special school which implements discipline in a more severe manner.

I met them today and spoke with them about their challenges. One of the issues is that their son does not recognise cause and effect. He does not associate the things that face him with his own previous behavior. Therefore, correction, on any level, does not correlate for him back to the reason that may have triggered it. Which leads to the fact that it is very hard to find a way to train him to choose the right. All that is left from his perspective, is that someone is treating him in a way he does not like, and that leads directly back to anger and violence. This also applies to his attitude towards his parents.

We have two boys with different behavioural issues. One has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a mild case of Autism. The other has ADHD-PI (a.k.a. ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder), this is characterized by difficulty to focus and ease of distraction. My wife has always looked at the kids as needing one thing as the basis for everything else - Love. Even in their darkest hour, when they feel that the whole world is against them and nothing in life is fair - if you ask them if they know we love them - the answer will be a resounding "Yes!".

This was my message to my friends - work on the safety and love their son has at home. Have him know, even if it is a small speck in the big void of his consciousness, that Mom and Dad LOVE him...

When I spoke this message to them, my eyes teared up. The spirit reminded me that I am not as perfect with this message as I may want to be: I get angry, I say the wrong things, I expect things that they can't deliver... I am human... So, the spirit reminded me that I need to try harder. They have a bigger challenge on their hands, but I have my own.

My friends are taking it one day at a time, praying for guidance and for support from Heavenly Father. I pray for them as well. Their son will start this new school this coming Monday and will be there for evaluation for the next 45 days. it will be hard, and I hope they take the time to work on their relationship and the Love on their family.

We were all blessed with the capability to Love as part of our basic structure. The structure that was modeled based on our Father's model. His infinite ability to Love is manifested to a minute degree in us. But this little bit that we have is such a HUGE capability on our part. We should love to love. We should embrace Loving with all our heart. We should give this gift of Love wherever we go and to whomever we may meet. Even if we get hurt sometimes, the scales will always tip in our favor.

The saviour talked about the two great commandments - both relate to Love. In Judaism both Rabbi Akiva and Old Hillel talked about loving our neighbors as ourselves (don't undo to others what you don't want to be done to you).

Love is a global, international, multi-lingual, multi-cultural, multi-theological concept. LIVE IT!

TOTD: There is beauty all around, when there's love at home...