We have friends that have a son who has some form of mental disability. He is at an age where puberty is starting to rear its head, but his mental age is still around 6 years old. Unfortunately, he is not happy at school and feels trapped. This leads to frustration and anger which in turn leads to violence. He is not a bad kid, just troubled. Now they are at a point where his school will not accept him back and they need to send him to a special school which implements discipline in a more severe manner.
I met them today and spoke with them about their challenges. One of the issues is that their son does not recognise cause and effect. He does not associate the things that face him with his own previous behavior. Therefore, correction, on any level, does not correlate for him back to the reason that may have triggered it. Which leads to the fact that it is very hard to find a way to train him to choose the right. All that is left from his perspective, is that someone is treating him in a way he does not like, and that leads directly back to anger and violence. This also applies to his attitude towards his parents.
We have two boys with different behavioural issues. One has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a mild case of Autism. The other has ADHD-PI (a.k.a. ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder), this is characterized by difficulty to focus and ease of distraction. My wife has always looked at the kids as needing one thing as the basis for everything else - Love. Even in their darkest hour, when they feel that the whole world is against them and nothing in life is fair - if you ask them if they know we love them - the answer will be a resounding "Yes!".
This was my message to my friends - work on the safety and love their son has at home. Have him know, even if it is a small speck in the big void of his consciousness, that Mom and Dad LOVE him...
When I spoke this message to them, my eyes teared up. The spirit reminded me that I am not as perfect with this message as I may want to be: I get angry, I say the wrong things, I expect things that they can't deliver... I am human... So, the spirit reminded me that I need to try harder. They have a bigger challenge on their hands, but I have my own.
My friends are taking it one day at a time, praying for guidance and for support from Heavenly Father. I pray for them as well. Their son will start this new school this coming Monday and will be there for evaluation for the next 45 days. it will be hard, and I hope they take the time to work on their relationship and the Love on their family.
We were all blessed with the capability to Love as part of our basic structure. The structure that was modeled based on our Father's model. His infinite ability to Love is manifested to a minute degree in us. But this little bit that we have is such a HUGE capability on our part. We should love to love. We should embrace Loving with all our heart. We should give this gift of Love wherever we go and to whomever we may meet. Even if we get hurt sometimes, the scales will always tip in our favor.
The saviour talked about the two great commandments - both relate to Love. In Judaism both Rabbi Akiva and Old Hillel talked about loving our neighbors as ourselves (don't undo to others what you don't want to be done to you).
Love is a global, international, multi-lingual, multi-cultural, multi-theological concept. LIVE IT!
TOTD: There is beauty all around, when there's love at home...
