Our oldest son (9) has always been a relatively mild boy. He is not shy, nor is he unlikable, just not part of the popular gang. We have always encouraged him to choose the right and be respectful. However, this seems to translate into a service oriented mentally where he places others needs ahead of himself.
On one hand you try to teach them that loosing a game is not the end of the world. On the other, you want him to understand that winning is important, as long as it's not at the expense of others and you play by the rules.
We are somewhat frustrated with trying to figure out how to motivate him to be more competitive. He does not seem to care if he wins or loses, but rather help the others, usually at the expense of his own success.
One of the only places I have noticed competitiveness on his part is between himself and his younger brother. Despite the fact that we generally try to discourage that, sometimes I let it ride for a while - just to provide him with the experience.
Still, the same question resounds: How do you encourage competitiveness while still maintaining humility and respect?
Perhaps it's just an age thing, that he will get as he grows older...
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